6 Perks and 6 Horrors of Living in Los Angeles

Everyone and their mom wants to move to LA, to visit LA, to exist in LA. That’s all well and good until you actually move here, and you have to deal less glamorous stuff like skyrocketing insurance, rabid bums, or stepping in dog shit at every turn. But there’s the sunny flip side, where there’s literally sun almost every day, access to unlimited fresh fruits and veggies, and the beach…did I mention the beach? The beach! BEACH!!! So I compiled a short list of good and bad things about being an Angeleno. Since I like to end on a positive note, we’ll start with the baddies:

1. Traffic: I could write a book on the traffic of LA. No. One. Can. Drive. Here. Or maybe I’m so egotistical that I think I’m the best driver anywhere, but putting that aside, people on the road here are DANGEROUS for a few reasons:
-Lots of people smoke weed while driving
-People texting and talking on their phones, causing us all of us but you to miss the green light *shakes fist in anger*
-People here generally don’t know what the frickin blinker/turn signal is or even bother checking to see if they can even cross into my lane (that would be a NO because I’m right next to you yelling at you!!!)

2. Pollution: my sinuses have been permanently plugged since I moved here (no I don’t have allergies)

3. Dog shit: it’s EVERYWHERE. Also, there was an underground wild Chihuahua mafia plotting the downfall of Los Angeles about a year ago. You think I’m kidding? Makes me scared anytime I pass someone with a Chihuahua, it might be undercover!

4. Mutilated people everywhere: Such a variety of uses for silicone and plastic unseen anywhere else. Come on, you’re 21 years old, WTF do you need bigger boobs and a brow lift already?? Are duck-faced good selfies that important?

plastic duck

5. Insurance: not sure if this needs more explanation other than my stuff tripled when I moved here. *Palm to the face*

6. Tourists: it can cost me up to $30 just to park by the beach during the summer because all the parking garages are gouging everyone because they can. I live just far enough away from the beach that I need to drive, and all I want is to see some sand and the water, and I have to cough up my first born to see it.

Ok ok baddies and rants over with, onto the goodies:

1. The Beach: sand, sun and fun in basically year round wonderful weather: even in January and February you can probably go sunbathe. Aaaaand I live really close to it.

2. Farmers markets: dude, brah, man…these are awesome. It’s nice to know that you can still get food that’s not poisonous, and it’s actually cheaper sometimes than at a grocery store. Plus you shop at one often enough and the folks get to know you and cut you deals.

3. All the crazy awesome different types of people: people from all over want to be in LA, so whether you’re in class, the market, church, or walking by a group of angry bums on the corner, most people are from somewhere else other than LA.

4. You can be an extra in a major movie: It might take a little time, but it can happen. Current dream is to be a zombie movie extra, covered in guts and slime, chewing on Brad Pitts’ arm.

Hopefully I won't look this ratchet

Hopefully I won’t look this ratchet

5. Name anything and you can find it in LA: it might take you an hour to go 5 miles to get it, but it’s quicker than ordering it online! Or you could FINALLY develop some patience (or lack thereof) and just order it online anyways so you’re not stuck in traffic (see Baddies, #1).

6. Outdoor activities: on any given time of the year, you can rent a boat, jet ski, paddle board, canoe, dinghy, some flippers, and hit the water. You might freeze your important personal parts off, but it’ll be fun! Hiking, camping, just being outside! You could surf in the morning, and snowboard by the afternoon if you REALLY wanted to.

So those are a few good and bad reasons for living in LA, I’m sure there are tons more but these were the most obvious for me. What do you think? What are your favorite or most hated reasons from living/visiting in LA? Lemme know down below!

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